Diplomacy
by ashestoashesanddusttodust
Summary: Guy has all the grace and subtly of a steel-toed boot to the groin, but he has more than a few moments of utter brilliance to counteract it. [Guy x Kyle]


**Diplomacy  
**

 **Notes:** It's just a scene that refused to leave. I'll leave it up to you if Guy knows or doesn't know the implications.

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Kyle's no stranger to the delicate dance that is making first contact with a new planet and species. Well, first contact for the Corps at least.

It's easy really. He goes in, listens to what's being said -or not, it really doesn't matter- and the Guardian's take everything his ring transmits and hammer out some understanding that Kyle gives verbatim. It's usually accepted, there's usually a feast of some sort, and Kyle goes on his merry way with one more system falling under Green Lantern protection.

It's considered a vacation assignment, usually given as a reward. Especially if the planet is known for having good food. Kyle's done it often enough since moving to Oa that very little manages to surprise him anymore when he goes in to nod politely at what is essentially a sales pitch.

Sure, there's awkward, tense, and sometimes out and out scary moments when a culture pulls out something that pushes past Kyle's comfort zone, but he's gotten used to covering his own reactions to it up. He's gotten good enough at it that he can keep on talking to a delegate even when he's cringing internally at -what had looked like- _screaming_ cats being eaten alive in the last planet he'd been on. Or even remaining outwardly calm in the face of a little girl's pet hissing spider. That had been the size of Kyle's head and dripped acid on the floor right next to Kyle's foot.

Kyle's been in some sticky situations. He's reacted calmly and intelligently to them before. So, being on the home world of the Thrl celebrating another successful negotiation, he shouldn't have any trouble dealing with one of the ruling council member's offering up his youngest daughter in marriage to finish the deal. "Uh."

 _Shouldn't_ being the keyword. The girl, and Kyle's fairly sure that's an accurate term to use, kneels at his feet, eyes demurely down as her father continues to list off all her good qualities. Like he's _selling_ her instead of giving her away for marriage. Kyle's mouth opens and shuts but no sound comes out, and Guy doesn't try hiding his guffaws from where he's polishing off the strange purple meat kebobs that Kyle's found a fondness for.

Kyle looks helplessly back at his partner -and bites back a few words because Guy's taking food off Kyle's plate, the damn glutton- and get's an outright challenging grin from Guy that clearly asks how he's going to worm his way out of this one. Guy Gardner, the man he trusts to watch his back and get him out of tough situations has no problem with marrying him off to the first alien species to ask though.

 _Thanks, Guy._

"Uh, thanks," Guy nearly chokes on a laugh behind him, and Kyle hopes he's inhaled some food into his lungs. The traitor. "I'm flattered, really, I am, but-"

"Is my daughter unacceptable?" The Councilor -and, alright, he owes Guy an apology because Kyle can't actually tell them apart without using his ring either- asks with that strange lilt that he'd quickly figured out is an indication of anger in the Thrl.

"Ah, no! No, she's not," Kyle back pedals fast because it's taken almost a year of visits to hammer something out with the Thrl, and Kyle's sure that Salaak will have his head if he manages to wreck the understanding mere moments after supposedly finalizing it. "But-"

"Hey, take it easy," Guy cuts in, finally getting off his ass as Kyle starts stuttering. An arm gets thrown over Kyle's shoulder and, despite himself, Kyle sags just a bit in relief. Even though he knows better than to trust Guy in tricky diplomatic situations.

"Your kid's a catch, and I'm sure she'll make someone a lovely wife someday, but it's not gonna be Kyle here," and now they have the attention of the other four councilors who are turning that lovely lavender tinge that prefaces them being offended. Great. Now he won't have to face Salaak alone at the guillotine. "He's already engaged and our people don't do multiple spouses."

Neither do the Thrl. They actually take marriage and faithfulness seriously. Seriously enough to warrant going to intergalactic war over a previous marriage arrangement with another planet. Which is just one more reason why Kyle had been trying to backpedal fast. Kyle bites back anything he might have said in protest at Guy's total lie because, really, it's a good tactic.

The lavender tinge is fading and the girl is gone in a swirl of skirts that almost looks mortified. The Counselor brings his hands up and presses his palms together, "Ah, I see. My apologies, we were not aware or we would not have made an offer," the man pauses, head tilting down in what Kyle privately thinks is curiosity. "Your other half allows you to travel alone?"

Crap, Kyle forces a smile. Married Thrll were literally bound together by a psychic link forged by constant proximity before the marriage itself. Past reports on them had agreed that they had problems understanding the bonding practices of other cultures. "I-"

"Nope," Guy cuts in, going over Kyle's voice. "He's not alone."

Kyle snaps his mouth shut with a click, and snaps his head to the left to look at Guy. Who's giving the Counselor his least cocky and assholish look -which isn't saying much- and doesn't look like he's got a _damn_ clue what he's just implied.

"My _deepest_ apologies," the man presses his palms together tighter and ducks his head down below them. A gesture of utmost sincerity. "We did not realize. Please accept that we meant no offense. Had we known-"

"No harm, no foul," Guy waves expansively with the arm not around Kyle. "I'm sure he forgives, ya. Don't you, partner?"

"Yeah, I do," Kyle sighs and lets it go. He'll give Guy shit about it later when they're back on Oa. He smiles at the relieved looking alien. "It's an understandable mistake."

The feast goes on and Kyle relaxes as he's no longer the center of attention. Except for a few very distinct nods of approval as Guy drags him back to the table they'd been eating at before. Kyle smiles and dryly asks, "Did you save me any of those kebobs, or were you just using the distraction to finish them off?"

"Eh, not my fault you're too pretty to take anywhere," Guy shrugs expansively as he plops down on the cushion pile, and doesn't try to hide the pile of picked clean skewers, "They'll bring more out anyway. You should try some of these bun things though," Guy reaches out and flips a couple pale, fluffy things onto Kyle's plate. Nudging it closer as Kyle sits back down. "I'm thinking about asking how it's made. If it's not too bad I think they'd sell well in the bar."

Kyle agrees with the first bite, but point blank refuses to be the one to ask the older women bringing out the dishes how it's made. No matter how hard Guy pushes and needles him. The way that they coo and flutter around Guy when he does is the exact reason why he refused in the first place. Kyle laughs at Guy's disgruntled look when he's all but kidnapped and taken into another room to learn.

"Your other half will be a good provider for you," a woman with the solid banding that indicates her age says as she sets down a platter of kebobs. "You are well matched."

"Thank you," Kyle smiles and accepts the compliment and food.

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End file.
